Supreme Court Satire and 9 Stinky Arguments for its irrelevance to the pulp novel Daisy the Dumpster Dog
Court Reform and Supreme Court Satire might seem to be the target of Blade’s newest novel ‘Daisy the Dumpster Dog – A Sordid Tale of Dystopian Hubris and Convenient Canine Rationalizations (But Not a Supreme Court Satire or Parody)‘. However, the novel is clearly not, or not simply, or not only, an indelicate, irreverent, and ineptly delivered attempt at Supreme Court Satire or Parody. In other words, one shouldn’t necessarily leash-up and take a walk down that hairy, presumptive path – and here are nine reasons why:
1. Daisy and her friends are canines (and, well . . . cats), and it is dubious that the words ‘Supreme Court Satire’ ever even, or even ever, occur in the text of the tome
2. Dogs think and act differently than most humans. In addition, their motivations and lifespans differ quite substantially as well. Complex concepts like Supreme Court Satire, Supreme Court Term Limits, Supreme Court Ethics, and court reform are likely irrelevant and nonsensical to them
3. The story takes place far into the future where anything might happen, including advanced canine communications. Who really knows what dogs will think or do in that distant time? No doubt that genetic engineering will have some impact there!
4. Given their genetic predispositions to emulate us, canines in that future will obviously be prone to making the same egregious societal mistakes as humans. Some of those mistakes may or may not relate in any way to court reform, and the poor dogs may or may not need to create Supreme Court Satire as a pressure-relief valve. It’s a fact, however, that they may not even hold court, court each other, elicit courtesy, curtsy, or play catch and run around the court in those far-off days
5. In the 200 century canine-human history, we have undoubtedly aligned some of our behaviors to canines. This implies that some of our existing, contemptable societal and governance issues could logically be blamed on them (the poor things). Such blame could include human behaviors like excessive barking about things, growling old-dog-new-tricks obstinance, and dogged resistance to change. Attacking innocent canines for our inexcusably untrained and unrestrained actions, however, might also help to assuage any innate guilt we hold for the fact that we treat most humans like unwanted strays.
6. There’s no better proof of this purported dog-human alignment than the dominance hierarchy that occurs naturally in canine packs. Certain very entitled humans, being very dog-like, apparently believe that such hierarchies rightfully must exist in our own world. There must be a reason why caste and waste rhyme . . . right?
7. The novel doesn’t intentionally point a paw at Supreme Court Satire or Parody. Yet, it is possibly a satire or parody of human hubris that often occurs at the highest levels of global governments
8. In that far-off, distant future, canines will probably apply convenient rationalizations in their governing, just like we humans do today. Examples? (1) Fervently, fearfully clenching down on ancient belief systems and interpreting ‘what the founders intended’ (in their case, the dogmatic and most high Demidogs) – but only when such clenching favors our innate biases. (2) Engaging in various forms of ancestor worship. (3) Blindly following our noses and traipsing forward without question ‘just because we’ve always done it that way’
9. Arguably, canines may already be more socially advanced than humans, so they are likely well beyond any Supreme Court Satire, court reform, Supreme Court Term Limits, or similar topics. Need proof of their superiority? For one, we have no evidence of them sniffing around and sticking their snouts into the apocalyptic technology space. Perhaps this gives them an edge in populating the planet once we humans have had our day?
Relevant quotes from Daisy the Dumpster Dog are below.
9 or More Quotes from Daisy the Dumpster Dog Implying that it is Not, or Not Simply, a Supreme Court Satire or Parody
EPISODE 318 – BLISTER: Despite his size, the thought of being second at anything always bugged the heck out of Rat Dog. He wasn’t about to let a caste system or societal rules or customs or norms tell him what he could and couldn’t do when food was in the offing. He also wasn’t about to let anyone have first dibs at what might be coming. He’d seen and done important things in his short life, he recognized, and recently some very courageous things. Indeed. He jumped from a flaming box and nearly into a standie’s waiting paws. He survived on his own for what seemed to be a long time. He even got rolled beneath a box’s wheel, then sprang up from the mishap with nary a scratch or snap of the cast. But the potential of death, pain, and suffering? None of these were more urgent and meaningful to him than hunger. And hungry he was. Besides, no canine was better than him, though none were worse. They were all equal in his eyes, and no dog should be more or less entitled to Delights.
EPISODE 320 – SUCKERS: Nemesys stopped in his tracks and signaled his troupe to halt as well. “Fairness? Fairness? You brought that rat into our nice, controlled enclave, then tried to protect him after he insulted me? Insulted us?” Nemesys was particularly pleased to use that last line, since he had heard rumblings about always thinking of himself first, and he felt he needed to be a bit more inclusive. “There are rules here, rules established long ago about how our society behaves. About everyone’s proper place. That’s what matters. Fairness matters not in these parts, only the rules as defined and interpreted by the Swatter Bowl Mangi. You should know that by now.”
EPISODE 322 – FIDOISH: (these paragraphs dubiously may relate, or not relate, to Supreme Court Satire or Parody, much less court reform and questionable influencers; as such, all interpolations are based upon the interpreter’s interpretation and imagination) “Not standies,” Dingo confided. “Look, I don’t know everything about them that I should, as I haven’t had the need to do further research on them. Therefore, please understand that part of this is second or third-paw dirt. The Fidoish club or clique or cadre of conniving clandestine canines pretty clearly detect, select, elect, and erect which special bowsers get to become a Mangi, but most particularly the Swatter Bowl types. They wile and wangle and wrangle their mysterious ways, spending nights and days grooming and boarding gaggles of future Mangi. Though not true of all Mangi in all Bowls, the Fidoish club or clique or cadre of conniving clandestine canines hold enough power to have taken effective control of the lubricating leashes across dogdom. They have been manipulating things so slowly, secretly, and surreptitiously, that they are now the primary reasons why our society so sinuously serves and sustains dogdom’s Caste system in the first place. To conclude, the Swatter Bowl Mangi issue edicts that mostly hang the dominance collars over our lowly heads. In reality, however, the masters who hold the leashes of the Swatter Bowl Mangi are logically the real top dogs. And that is them.”
Rat Dog was growing thoroughly confused. “Holy crap, dude. Let’s get this tale straight. First, the Fidoish club or clique or cadre of conniving clandestine canines, as you call them, are exalted members of The Caste, which is apparently a grouping of dirty dogs who only care to benefit themselves. These Fidoish types get to detect, select, elect, and erect the Swatter Bowl Mangi, and who knows, many of the Mangi in general. Second, the Swatter Bowl Mangi establish the final rules for this fungible realm in which we live. Rules such as who gets first dibs or no dibs at Delights. Third, these Swatter Bowl Mangi regularly commune with highly revered, ancient, and pretty dead Demidogs to rationalize their edicts. Do I have this about right?”
If there was only one positive attribute that Rat Dog possessed, one tiny, beneficial aspect to his being, it was an enduring sense of fairness. Given his lowly status, how could he not retain and hold strong to a belief in the rights of all dogkind to share equally in society and its benefits, such as the yet unforeseen and much anticipated Delights? “I don’t agree with any of this,” he ruffed, rising up on his fours. “I don’t want a clan of mystical Mangi or GogMadDogs or Nemesys acolytes or cats or similar heathen dictating what I can and can’t eat, pushing their garbage belief systems down my throat like horse pills wrapped in bacon. I’ll gladly tear into their hides, given the chance.”
EPISODE 326 – RESCUE: He was surprised that she was still listening and comprehending a bit of it. “Okay, you asked, so here we go. Apparently, certain Mangi are bred to pretend they can interpret the Canistution as if they were magically transported back to those days and therefore understand the original minds of the most reverend Demidogs. However, this Mangi said the plain truth is that every dog naturally comes to decisions based on their own life experiences. In other words, no Mangi can possibly possess a mystical, mysterious ability to lick the Bowl clean of their inherent biases and belief systems.”
EPISODE 329 – AFGHAN (This episode is either clearly, or clearly not intended to be, Supreme Court Satire or Parody): “What do you mean ‘what am I?’” the Afghan rebuffed, extremely annoyed. “I’m an exalted Swatter Bowl Mangi. Perhaps you lack the mental capacity to understand your situation, and clearly this robot dog is utterly incompetent and unable to assist you. We are collectively here to assess your fragile, feeble argument to determine if it should affect anything anywhere. Probably more accurately, if it should be indelicately tossed over the fence like a steaming doggie scoop of you know what.”
“Due respect?” Rat Dog laughed, then hacked a bit while developing his next thoughts. “Excuse me, amigo, but I do comprehend a few things. First, your purebred breeding implies onerous inbreeding and reminds us of the debilitating and unhealthy attributes of that. Yet your keepers just keep churning and rechurning that same corrosive set of genetic repeats and narratives to create predictable oddities like you. Second, I understand you guys engage in an unusual, unproven, and undeniable form of dog ancestor worship. I get that you are studious Canistution acolytes. But it is because you appear so gloriously studious in others’ eyes that you can make or unmake, fake or head fake, take or forsake any decision you want according to your whimpering whims and convenient rationalizations. Like, maybe you caught a bad case of fleas and are in no mood to rule favorably on anything today. Or perhaps you simply don’t fancy the four-legger before you or what he stands for, so you create some grift about how he can’t play in your yard. Then you excuse it by parroting some obscure, reflective directive from irrelevant ages past.”
“And then there’s that oddball Fidoish club or clique or cadre of conniving clandestine canines who selected you because of your breeding, but not because you were decent and caring. Top it off with this secretive levering dude who’s likely prancing around in this crowd right now. Dude’s name is Caociphus and has frightful connections to,” Rat Boy chuckled, “GogMadDog, apparently a very baleful batch of bowsers. I mean, get real. Will you ever speak on your own behalf, or will you always follow the scent to a predictable and dreary bowl of chow that someone else set out for you? If so, then roll over and be a good boy while your trainers pull at your leash and chain and bark commands at you from behind the doggie door.”
Rat Dog was slightly put off by such a harsh decision and surprised they took so poorly to his polite self-defense. He opened his mouth to express his feelings. “What makes you uber special that you can decide a thing such as this? Are you so insecure that you can’t develop your own decisions about right and wrong? Must you instead roll and thrash about in the yard in a mock trance as if you were suddenly infused with the magical wisdom of the most reverend Demidogs and their original lives and thoughts? And who were they to have been such perfect canine masters that they could have been so prescient to have accurately envisioned these quite different dog days? No dorco or dumpster even existed in their times, isn’t that correct?”
EPISODE 332 – BITER: “Indeed,” she confirmed, “and things are growing worse. The Caste and Swatter Bowl Mangi are tightening control, issuing more edicts to favor the previously and persistently favored, like fleas on a hound’s butt. I fear the situation is becoming untenable. Then we have the followers of the Fidoish club or clique or cadre of conniving clandestine canines continuing to breed new pups to wolf down their exceedingly narrow viewpoints. This creates a steady supply of trained attack dogs who are no more than zinging zealots that regularly spout their simplistic and singular perspectives. And I can’t forget to mention Caociphus, their progenitor, and the shadowy and sinister GogMadDog who provides them with endless fronting and backing. A real den of antiquity and iniquity has wrested control over dogdom, I fear.”
“Yes,” she said, surprised that he actually added to the conversation. “They tell you they must get first dibs because you’ve given them the power to tell you that. You’ve conceded, we’ve conceded, to their views of societal dominance. I can’t say I admire the way Rat Dog barked it out, but he is right for once, Dingo. Most of us get too enmeshed in our everyday lives, foraging for the bits and scraps of life and considering little else beyond our next meal. We take our eye off the ball when it’s thrown. We let the few devious and designing ones, the purebreds and Caste and Swatter Bowl Mangi in this case, control our lives. They push the narratives that they’re giving us freedoms when they’re actually taking them away. They push that they’re magically infused with the mystical minds of the Demidogs, our perfectly imperfect founders from ancient days. Then you’ll find them rolling and thrashing about in a vast, archaic grassland of vague interpretations when it advantages them to do so. Their ‘Demidogs interpretation narrative’ also provides them with a convenient excuse to wash their paws of taking responsibility for their decisions.”
EPISODE 334 – DEWORMED (as indicated previously, this episode is also clearly, or clearly not, intended to be Supreme Court Satire or Parody): “No sir. As nearly every canine in dogdom knows, the majority of you at this Swatter Bowl have been bred at the pleasure of the Fidoish club or clique or cadre of conniving clandestine canines, and you fear falling out of favor with them and their trainers and benefactors. As a result, you often do what’s right for them and their kind, but rarely do what’s right for us innumerable lowly ones. Since they trained you and ingrained you, perhaps that makes sense. Can’t teach an old dog new tricks, I guess. In addition, you apparently issue edicts by communing with the long-dead Demidogs and quoting the wisdom of the Canistution. However, you appear to use that as convenient rationale only when it suits you and your self-assured, oft-regurgitated narratives to do so.”
At this point, the Afghan and a few other Mangi were leaning forward and panting furiously. They were so perversely agitated and shaken that they were nearly tumbling from their high rock perches.
“I’m simply repeating what I’ve heard from numerous knowledgeable sources,” Dingo continued, “and a bit of what I’ve observed myself. I have no reason to sit, lie down or roll over on this topic. And speaking of lying down, rumor is that you lie on your backs and scratch and roll in a bucolic, furballic frenzy while conjuring that communing thing. It’s not my idea of a good roll in the grass, but, whatever works for you is whatever works for you.”
